What happens when you have a pair of boobs, leaking milk and Mama brain? Some messy – and funny – tales. We asked our Boobie Mamas to share their funniest breastfeeding experiences and although they may not have seen the funny side at the time, in hindsight, their stories have made them (and us) laugh. Just in case you need a grin right now, see what’s really happening in the land of boobs and babies:
Jcup in the car park
Mistakenly thinking I could make it home the five minutes from the shops before settling into a feed on the couch, instead we sat in the back seat of the car in a busy shopping centre carpark consoling then feeding for nearly an hour, finally hopping out with my now sleeping bub to somehow strap into the capsule without waking. The car next to me had just parked close to the line with the elderly couple still inside, so I squeezed out smiling at them and managed to get bub in without a peep. They looked pretty aghast when I walked back around to my seat and it wasn’t until I was putting on my seatbelt that I realised I had left one of my J-cup breasts dangling out of my jumper for all to see. 5km/h car park speed limit, I don’t think so. (Lucy)
Boobs to the mailman
When I was breastfeeding my first baby, I had cracked, bleeding and very sore nipples. The health nurse who had come around and said that after feeds I should rub some breast milk on them and let them 'air'. So, I did. One day as I was letting my nipples air after a feed and I received an online delivery. Mail Man knocked on the door and I opened it. He looked at me, shocked. I looked at him, mortified! I had opened the door with my boobs still out! He was great about it, but I STILL feel the embarrassment every time I think about it! (Talitha)
'Breast' cringe
I travelled solo to the UK with my son when he was 5 months old. We arrived just behind a huge flight and queues to get through security were astronomical. I’d not been able to wee almost the whole flight and was very over it all by then, and my son quite fancied a feed. I ducked out of line and found a very nervous looking security gentleman. I explained quite loudly that I needed to BREASTFEED my BREASTFED baby but didn’t feel overly comfortable getting my BREAST out here as he was a messy feeder (white lie, I felt very comfortable feeding anywhere). The more I said breast the more he cringed and marched me straight to the front and through passport control in about 3minutes (Sammy)
Girls out shopping
Got strange looks walking around doing my groceries. From my point of view, I was modest. But when I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I'd not pulled my breastfeeding shirt down enough, giving full view of the twins in a not-so-discreet triangle. It might have looked like a new and questionable fashion statement. (Emi)
He thinks that’s cow milk in his cup
Our son was 3 months when my poor husband almost mistook the breast milk for a small glass of milk. Luckily, he realised but he put it down so quickly he ended up spilling half of it! Needless to say, I did cry over that spilt milk! Hey a mumma who expresses that amount is enough to sadden anyone. (Erin)
Squirted!
When my daughter was born via emergency C she went straight to the neo nates. The midwives were trying to bring my milk in by hand expressing .. they were trying to teach my husband how to do it & then all of a sudden, it’s like a tap turned on & sprayed my husband in the face!! (Tayla)
Special delivery
I have been doing a lot of online shopping lately, especially when I'm breastfeeding, so addictive lol. So we've got to know the delivery man pretty well. The other day he delivered a parcel for me and I was wondering why he had a funny smile on his face... til I got inside and realised I accidentally left one of my boobs out after feeding my bub. I don't know how I'm going to even show my face to him now.... and the worst thing is there's LOTS more parcels to come.(Jess)
Lost milk
“I expressed a good 150mls, fed bub on the other side, put all three kids in the car, was all ready and organised for our first ever visit to grandma with baby number three. Halfway to mum's house I realised I didn't have the expressed milk with me. ‘Mum brain’, so as I drove, I mentally tracked my movements in all that one hour it took to get myself and three kids ready to go. I remembered that I put the expressed milk bottle on the roof of the car while buckling the baby and without delay, I drove off! I searched for that bottle when we returned and never found it! Wasn't funny then, although it is now.” (Hooria)
Pumped neighbour!
“My little man is 7 months & I've battled with stupidly low supply the whole time. Expressing for hours a day to maintain my supply along with medication we have managed to EBF. The other day I was expressing on the couch while he had a nap, front door (faces the side fence) open as it was a nice day. I fell asleep expressing, boobs out pump still connected & was woken to the very apologetic rear neighbour standing at my front door as his kids had kicked the footy over the back fence. I don't know who was more embarrassed, nothing like making first impressions people will never forget.” (Kylie)
Sprung a leak
“Going into a meeting right after a feed, not realising my leftie was still gushing!” (Judith)